The Customer is Always Wrong

For anyone who has worked in a customer service role, this should be a mantra to live by. Forget the sycophantic smile. Forget the extra mile. These people don't deserve it. Without question, the customer is almost always wrong.

The customer will try to tell you that your website isn't working. Don't worry, it is. The customer will tell you that the film times are different to those advertised. Don't listen, they're not. They will tell you that you are wrong, and they are right.

THEY ARE MISTAKEN! Tell them to go away!

They complain because they couldn't find the building.
"It took me 20 minutes to work out how to get to this building! I hope you realise that!"
"I'm sorry madam I didn't, let me have them move it for you. Next time why don't you tell us where you're going to be, and we'll come to you."

They will moan because their son Cosmo is intolerant to corn and you do not supply a popcorn substitute. Advise they take their weakling child away somewhere.

They will approach you expecting some sort of extra-special service tailored specifically to them.
"I've already bought tickets online but I still need to collect them. Do I have to queue up in this queue with everyone else?"
"No of course not sir, let me show you to the VIP enclosure."

They will baffle you with questions which are neither pertinent to the current situation, nor to reality.
"I'm not me, and this isn't the film I bought tickets for, where do I queue then?"
"I don't have any ID, but as you can see from this photo of me a year ago, I'm wearing the same shoe laces as I was then, so why don't you just let me in?"

The worst thing is when you do actually put that extra effort in to help a customer out, it invariably backfires giving you more grief or making you feel stupid. You go so far out of your way to try to accommodate them in their pointless little request, and when you offer them a half-way solution, they change their mind completely.

The problem is that these people force you to contemplate your own situation. What are you doing in this job anyway? Don't they know you're an artist! And I don't think working in a cinema is going to turn out to be the stepping stone into the film industry that you were hoping for.

The best policy to employ in future would be to meet them with an unwavering stare, take your feet off the desk if you can really be bothered, hold your breath and work your way through to the other side of their asinine requests with as much grace and patience as you can spare.

Unless they're nice of course! Then at least smile.